January 27, 2008,
The Sydney Morning Herald turns its hand to humour:
MORE than 3300 proud new Australians from 56 countries pledged their allegiance to the flag in ceremonies across NSW yesterday ...Joke #1: Aussies? Proud? Say G'day? Yep, they'll settle nicely in south-west Sydney into their own communities. And if someone dare ask them have they assimilated they'll say "assimilate to what?". Abdulai Jallah, an Aussie in Bankstown. Good one, Jack.
They are all part of a popular trend with more than 4million people becoming citizens since Australian Citizenship was introduced in 1949 ...
Of the 27,494 immigrants who arrived in NSW between January 1 and December 1 last year, one out of six was from China, making it one of the largest source of immigrants to the state.
Meanwhile, India has overtaken Britain as our second-biggest source of new citizens, followed by the Philippines, Vietnam, South Korea, Lebanon and Indonesia.
Pakistanis and Iraqis are also among our fastest-growing migrant groups.
They may come from all parts of the globe, but two things these new Australians have in common is faith in their adopted country and hopes for a better life.
Abdulai Jallah knew he had to find a new home after fleeing war-torn Liberia several years ago.
The 37-year-old security guard from Bankstown read about Australia in a magazine and fell in love with the country ...
Liliana Auwyang adored Australia when she visited as a tourist more than 10 years ago. It was the beautiful scenery and culture that had this 41-year-old from Panania, in south-western Sydney, hooked. So, not long after her return to Jakarta, she began researching how to come back permanently.
"I went back and applied for a student visa and came back to study English and business," she says. "Australia is such a beautiful country and there are so many opportunities for single women." ...
Richard Brunskill lived his whole life in central London before settling down-under. After meeting his partner during a six-week visit here in 2001, he fell in love with the place. Compared to his former home, the 44-year-old says Sydney feels equally sophisticated, minus the overcrowding. "It still has space in which to live and breathe ..." he says ...
One of the newest little Australians was born at the Royal Hospital for Women, Randwick, yesterday. Rania Islam arrived at 2.40am, much to the delight of her parents, Sharmin Khan and Rezaul Islam, and her big brother Rayyan Islam, 18 months ...
IT WAS true love that brought Douglas Snider to Sydney six years ago. His wife Tiate was born and bred in the inner-west suburb of Newtown ...
Ewi Sook Oh
... Ewi took residency in 2004 after starting a Diploma of Community Service in Melbourne as an overseas scholarship student three years earlier. She later followed her best friend to Sydney and has since come to love the harbour city's open spaces and friendly atmosphere ... "In my home in South Korea there are tall buildings and crowds everywhere. There are not so many people in Sydney ..."
Rene Strauss Arias
THE reopening of Sydney's Hilton Hotel in mid-2005 could hardly have been better timed for 49-year-old Filipino Rene Strauss Arias.
Although his wife Twinky already had an accountancy job waiting and strong family ties in Sydney, he was charting unknown waters.
"In the Philippines you're already considered old when you reach 30," he says. "I was worried we would come here and I might not be able to get a job." ...
... After completing an IT degree, he is now working as a commercial painter while taking a second qualification, in accountancy, at Sydney University ...
A NATIVE of St Petersburg, Andrei Bobylev first heard about Australia from some friends who had already been, and he became curious ...
"The most fascinating thing was to experience the complete opposite of Europe by celebrating Christmas during a 30-degree day on the beach," ...
Joke #2: Liliana Auwyang. "Australia is such a beautiful country and there are so many opportunities for single women.". Ha, ha. Yes, the Islamification of south-west Sydney will provide a rich array of diverse opportunities for single women. Good one, Jack.
Joke #3: Richard Brunskill's loves Sydney because "It still has space in which to live and breathe". Hmm, what might have caused London to become so overcrowded? Why that would be record levels of immigration. And hasn't Australia been running record levels of immigration too? Didn't a recent premier describe Sydney as being full? A ha ha, good one Jack.
Joke #4: Rania Islam. Welcome grasshopper. Fortunate you were, nurse did have, when seldom nurse found. Why might that be? Why nursing is a frontline diversity job, and we know how much we all love diversity. Chuck, chuck. Good one, Jack.
Joke #5: Douglas Snider's wife was "was born and bred in the inner-west suburb of Newtown". Bwahaha! Good one, Jack. Now you're chuggin.
Joke #6: Ewi Sook Oh. She later followed her best friend to Sydney and "love the harbour city's open spaces and friendly atmosphere". Snick, snick. Nothing to do with the fact that Sydney has more Asians than Melbourne. No, not at all. Pffffftt.
Joke #7: Rene Strauss Arias. "In the Philippines you're already considered old when you reach 30," he says. "I was worried we would come here and I might not be able to get a job.". Worried? Bah, ha ha. No worries here mate, you can get the dole, can't ya?
Joke #8: Anwar Hamam. "After completing an IT degree, he is now working as a commercial painter". Bwaaa ha ha. Forgot to check the outsourced career list did we? Hmm.
Joke #9: Andrei Bobylev. "celebrating Christmas during a 30-degree day". A multicultural country celebrate Christmas? ROFL. Stop, stop. You're killin us. No more.
Ah, now we can all get some sleep ...
Sleepwalking into segregation? Not the SMH. They're laughin all the way.